days gone by - days yet to be

Sunday, Apr. 24, 2005 - 4:18 a.m.


It is finished...


I now have the time to make a more detailed update, as far as the decisions I've made over the past two weeks. I'm sure you've gleaned from my sporadic updates that I have been busy packing for a move back home. 1,935 miles to be exact. Rhode Island to Colorado. I moved to Rhode Island in 2000 after meeting JQ on the internet, the previous year. I've grown to loathe Rhode Island. The city, the people, the filth, the poverty, the mentality... The one thing holding me back from moving home was the financial means to do so. My sister asked me that questioned on April 11th: "What's holding you back from moving home?" My response? Money... plain and simple. JQ had been out of work for almost two months and my salary was all we had going for us.
She gave me her credit card number, the expiration date, and even the three little numbers on the back of the card, and said: "Now you don't have that problem... come home!
I had my letter of resignation written by the 13th and the truck rented by the 14th.
But there's more to it than that. My Mom and step-dad just bought a new house and are giving JQ and I the old town house they had been living in. How can I pass up an opportunity like that? No more tiny ass one bedroom apartment... No more loud obnoxious neighbors... No more laundry mats, no more washing dishes by hand, no more tear filled phone calls about how badly I wished I could see my family... I'll have 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, and 3 floors to fill with all my eclectic knick-knacky things. Plus, my Mom is leaving the piano, I'll have a reason to actually play again!

The downside is KP... leaving one of the best friends I've ever had. I've known KP since she was 17 years old. She was one of the first people I met when I moved to Rhode Island. We met out in the parking garage, at the mall, while we were both on a smoke break. She worked at Ben and Jerry's and I worked at the Cookie Jar, but we only ever saw each other on our breaks. The first time we actually hung out, we went to the Cable Car with JQ and her friend Josh. And we've never stopped "hanging out" since. She was one of the original "Sunday Night Dinner" crowd and now JQ, KP, and I are the only ones left. When JQ and I leave, she'll be the last.

JQ and I took her to the airport Friday morning. She had a trip to Texas planned, way before JQ and I decided to move back to Colorado. So, Friday morning was our last big good-bye. We'll be here until the 29th, but she won't be back until the 30th. So bittersweet, this move...

We spent the last week trying to cram in everything we had always wanted to do together, but never had, figuring there would always be time later... and I spent the whole time with the knowledge that we were running out of time. And I cried a whole lot. Any time we actually put words to it, I cried. I cried sitting in an A&W in New Hampshire with the knowledge we were running out of time. I kept thinking, I can't do this... I emotionally CANNOT do this! I cried most of Friday, after dropping KP at the airport. Slept and cried. I didn't want to be awake, it hurt too much, so I slept until I had to go to work. And the second I woke up, I started crying all over again. I saw the three little stars JQ, KP and I all got tattooed on our wrists on Thursday morning. I teased KP that we were commemorating our friendship with pain. I'd gladly take that pain over the pain of loss I feel right now. I told JQ on the way back from the airport, through near hysterical sobbing, that up until now, we thought that this move was the best thing for "us," but for the past few years, "us" had also included KP. It will never be the same...




What the cats are doing: Sleeping, like I should be.

What I should be doing right now: Sleeping, I have 2 days to pack up the rest of the house before we get the moving truck.

How much weight I' ve lost:


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days gone by - days yet to be