Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2005 - 11:40 p.m.

All's well that ends well...

I've been getting sick in slow motion over the past few days. Saturday was a slight scratchy throat, Sunday was congestion and achiness, Monday was chest congestion and coughing, and today has been all three days rolled up into one. I didn't even attempt to crawl out of bed until 3pm and that was only because I had to go into work. Karma came and bit me in the fucking ass!! The one day I actually had to go into work, because there was no one else to cover, is the day I feel like I want to die. And to make matter's worse I got bit by something when I was at KP's bar last night. I have the most wicked (I think, spider) bite on my arm. Its become the size of a half dollar, and its seeping venom and dead white blood cells. It has a slight bruising all the way around the outside of the redness, but it doesn't even itch anymore... it HURTS! Not that I'm not used to things like this happening. I am allergic to almost anything that has fangs or mandibles to bite with. You should see what happens when I get stung by a red ant. Hehehe... I swell... its amazing. My skin turns insanely red and it puffs up like 5X larger than is conceivably possible. And the itch is causes... oh. my. god. I wouldn't wish a red ant bite allergy on my worst enemy. Being that I grew up in Southern California, my Mom should have bought stock in baking soda. I'm serious! Make a paste of baking soda and water and it takes the sting and burn out of any bite. During the summer, I'd be covered in little white pasty globs of the shit. I loved to be out doors. So do red ants... hehe.

Work was quite entertaining today. I had to work the register because I didn't want to be handling anyone's food cuz I'm a little bit sick. I don't really enjoy working register, but it is super fun to pick on certain customers. Not necessarily in a mean way, I just like to joke with them. Some people, you can tell they won't get what you have to say and might even get angry, but the people I really love helping and ringing up are the ones I know I can joke with. Today was an exception, though, because I didn't wear a manager's uniform (I need to do the laundry). I wore a crew uniform, so I knew I could get away with a lot more shit and I didn't wear my name tag... It was open season on dumb people... I should NOT work register when I already feel like shit!

Customer: I want a seven layer bean burrito.

Me: Ok, well, we have a "Seven Layer" Burrito and a "Bean" Burrito. They are two different burritos with completely different ingredients.

Customer: I want a Seven Layer Bean Burrito.

Me: (describing the ingredients that come in each burrito) Which one would you prefer?

Customer: (getting giggly and annoying) I just want something that has NO MEAT!!! (muttering about being a vegetarian)

Me: (getting a little peeved, because I just told her each ingredient and neither one has any meat) I'll just ring you in for a Seven Layer.

(Proceed through the necessary TB bullshit on how we repeat every order back and count back change blah blah blah)

Me: Your change is $2.85, your order will be at the end of the counter... and one more thing... (oh, I need to keep my mouth shut!!) "we're omnivores for a reason... (said in a singsong voice--->) we need protein to feed our brains" but you know what? The damn veggie, granola, "I haven't bathed in a week" hippy retard DIDN'T EVEN GET IT! She was oblivious. The guy she was with was the one that got pissed off. He told her, "She just called you stupid" and seven layer bean burrito girl just giggled and said "No she didn't" Um... sweetheart? Yah I did! Eat something for fuck's sake, your body is starting in on your brain now, its eaten up all your other muscles, the only one left is your brain!! And if what transpired between the two of us is any evidence of that, it might already be too late.

Tomorrow is going to be a day from hell. I have to be in at 6:45 am for the food order and inventory. Since upper management felt it necessary to fire the only two people that had a clue on how to do it, I am stuck doing it until I can train someone else to take over. Now, here is the problem: I work nights. I usually do not get home until well after 11:30 pm. I am not instantly tired when I get home and I usually take a couple hours to unwind from work. I sleep late into the morning. AND I HAVE NOT BEEN AWAKE AT 6 IN THE MORNING IN A VERY LONG TIME! Unless it was from still being awake from the night before. (which my random entries on D-land can attest to) I am not looking forward to subjecting any of my employees to my special brand of "morning sunshine." The only thing I can think will waylay the onslaught of evilness that is bound to ensue, is to take a shit load of Tylenol Cough and Sore Throat with cool burst. The nighttime kind... That way I'll be all cotton headed and groggy and too tired to even try to get riled up. Its blue magic in a little square bottle. I usually get the one for congestion, but the coughing fits I was having needed to be stopped!! I couldn't even have a cigarette. The travesty of it all!!
Anywoo, as much as I'd love to keep rambling about dumb customers (I've already taken a dose of the blue magic) I have to try to sleep. (Its nice and warm and tingling... that's the cool burst part) I think I'm gonna take a poll at work about other employee's best "dumb customer" stories. (ummmm... tylenollllll...) Until we meet again... (it makes your throat a little numb) Nighty-Night...